And Into The World We Enter [entries|friends|calendar] Freyadele [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

His Departure - My Heartache... [03 Dec 2005|01:27am] [ mood | sad ] [ music | Sarah McLachlan ] He came by in a state of content mingled with discontent. His all time favourite place changed into something far too modern for his heart. I welcomed him back with a long and tight embrace. How I love him... I knew though that he wouldn't stay long. He has a journey to undertake. As we said our goodbyes I held onto him for as long as I could. I noticed that he didn't want to leave me, but that this was something that he had to do. He entrusted me with the Manor. As he pressed the main house keys in my hands, he said; 'Look after them, I will return soon enough. Remember me, please?' I told him I would always, no matter what would happen or take place. And then I kissed him, long and lingering. My tongue playing softly on his lips for a few moments and I heard him let out a soft moan. I knew I was only making it harder for us this way, but I so wanted his taste on my lips for as long as I could. I knew he would give that to me. "Take care my lovely one. I love you with all of my heart. Be safe and be well... And remember me... Too..." He promised he would. Reluctantly I let him go. As the car drove off I felt a hand pinch me in the heart. I didn't know how long it would take him exactly this time, but I knew he would be back. Meanwhile I'd be here at the Manor and look after it. I know that one evening I'll wake up unto seeing his splendid presence right next to me again. Until then I will miss him beyond words. Take these words as a promise; I am forever his and I will forevermore love him. I cannot wait to have him back by my side. But wait I must... Flourish

*smiling* [18 Nov 2005|11:29am] [ mood | happy ] [ music | Sarah McLachlan ] It is morning and I should get some rest, but I just have to tell you about all the wonderful and splendid things that have happened as of late! I returned to my loved one a little while ago. He came walking in, trying to refrain from rushing, I could see that and it made me chuckle. Of course he knew I was in the house. He can always sense that and he must have picked up on my thoughts. Oh, the embrace! The kisses! How warm, such slow burning fire! I could have held him forever and his arms felt like a shelter of love and warmth... "God, how I have missed you!" he said half breathlessly. "The Manor has been too empty without your lovely presence filling it!" His words made me more happy than one could ever imagine... That evening I held true to the promise I had made to him while talking to each other by means of the digital road. I guided him to one of the bedrooms in the house, where I had the room prepared for what I had intended to do. Candles were burning everywhere, showing glows on every part of the room, giving it an almost ghostly presence. Soft Celtic music was playing. And next to the bed I had spread out the essential oils. As soon as he saw that he grinned like a schoolboy and pulled me close to kiss me. "You actually did.." I smiled. "Well, of course I did. I promised you a relaxing evening and thus you shall have it!" I helped him take off his upper garments and let him lie down. As soon as my hands touched his back he closed his eyes. I so love to spoil the ones I love. And shower them with nurturing affection and care. He is the same in a way. But he has spoiled me so much already; this evening was to be his alone. I should have known I couldn't get away with that! Wrapped up in delicious scents of Patchouli, Ylang Ylang & a slight touch of Bergamot, he pulled me close as soon as I had finished. He kissed me and held me tight, almost as if he'd never let me go again. I couldn't help but to let out a tear because of the sentiment. And he kissed it away... Knowing that it was not out of sadness, but out of sheer happiness of being there with him. He reached down and pulled something out of his pocket. It shimmered in the candlelight. It was a necklace... One of the finest quality I had ever seen. And so splendidly beautiful! He gently let go of me completely and enclosed it around my neck. "Please always be mine, my dove. Don't leave again, unless there is no other way." I could do naught else but promise... I thought my smile could never fade away from my face again! We then just lay there, in each others arms until the morning came again. Reluctantly I let him go, but I knew he'd be back soon. The nights to follow were no less splendid. One in particular, he took me out for my birthday! There was a gorgeous dress that lay on the bed and I knew he wanted me to put that on. It fitted like a glove and it was so beautiful. His taste is impeccable and purely exquisite. Oh, the look on his face as I came down the stairs! I'll never forget that... I'll tell you more about the evening later, for now though... I really need some sleep... It has been a long, but yet another splendid night. I love him so dearly... Flourish

Words... [01 Nov 2005|04:21am] [ mood | loved ] [ music | There were many... ] We have to make do with merely words right now. Our conversation was filled with longing, our meeting already planned... I told him I have bought new essentials oils and when I have returned, I'll make sure he'll wake up to find warm and soothing pleasure... I cannot wait to feel him again, close to me, his soft precious lips on mine, his hands as they caress my hair, his breath in my neck below my ear, knowing that the passion and love comes for him in two ways. He is my precious one though... And I will always be safe in his presence, because I know he loves me so... I cannot wait to hold him again and to light the candles and the incense and to caress him... Or to sit on the lounge by the fireplace and muse away in our warmth and love. Oh yes! I do ever so love him... I do! Flourish

Trespassing... [30 Oct 2005|04:47pm] [ mood | busy ] [ music | Bach for Cello ] The night is silent, though it has not even begun yet... But I know it will be, for I am not with him. For now my days are ruled by more normal hours and I am arranging some things I needed to at home. Also I needed to go on a short trip, some place I had to attend, to soothe my mind, my feelings and my heart. But part of me is never soothed, not when he is not near, not when he is not around. I have come to love him so incredibly much that at times I fear he is breath itself. I love him and I could never deny it so either. Forgive me, but my time today is short. I still have so much to do, but I will not bore you with the facts of the matters. But know that whatever I do and with every movement he is in my mind and most certainly in my heart. He has shown me little pieces of heaven and now I am forever craving for those stars that he let twinkle, just for me... My love, if you listen... I have not forgotten you, I have not stopped to love you, no not for even one little second or even a fraction of that second, I love you and I miss you, it seems endlessly, but I know that time will bring us together again soon. Until then my love, I await with silence in my soul and restlessness in my heart; I am forever yours... 2 Blooming|Flourish

Unbelievable... [20 Oct 2005|05:44pm] [ mood | happy ] [ music | None, I am enjoying the silence of the twilight setting in ] The last time has been quite unbelievable. My loved one has lavished me with surprises and warmth and most of all, a whole lot of love... *smiles* It has been simply brilliant... One evening he asked me to come with him and walk by the lake. And when we got there he had laid out a rug and on that were all kinds of sweets and fruits. And the most delicious wine! We lay down and he fed me some of the fruits and offered me a glass of the wine. Spending small kisses to exchange the taste. It was simply exquisite! But that was not all... He gave me a gift. It was a book... Poetry by Keats. And it used to be his! He had written the most lovely thing in it... "To my nightingale. With love". And then he still had to ask me: "Tell me darling, before we lay down together and enjoy the stars and the quiet sounds of the night... are you happy here with me? Is there anything, anything at all that I can do to make you happier?" I answered him almost breathlessly, still so incredibly emotionally overtaken by it all... "Happier? Does that exist then? Surely happiness would kill me if it could become any more! Because my emotions would need to pour out then, for inside there'd be hardly room left, as overflowing as it feels already my love! All I really need is you by my side and then I am still being spoiled with all the lovely things aside like the fruits and the wine and gifts and flowers and all this splendour! Happier? If existence could accomplish that... Then life would not be life anymore, but surely heaven... And it already feels like that... Is there a place higher and more beautiful than that? Perhaps there is... and I am convinced that it is right here, with you..." He laughed and said all he wanted was to have me near. And alive and well in the world. That he would always be there for me. "Always". I don't think I have ever felt as happy as at that moment. It was like a dream... We have spend so many moments together since then, but that I will never forget... Flourish

Guests [05 Oct 2005|10:46am] [ mood | awake ] [ music | Sarah McLachlan ] We are no longer alone. It was a most splendid surprise, even though the idea made me a bit nervous at first. To meet two persons who are in fact quite important to him. Well, at least one of them has arrived for now. And he has been most nice to me. The other one is yet to arrive. Honestly after all this close time together it is a bit strange to share our moments with other persons, but I can see how happy it makes him. The first to arrive was a young man, with a beautiful face, the lines seemed very much in place and he had dark wavy hair. He was just as taken aback it seems by all the splendour and beauty as I was when I first came here. It made me chuckle a bit, because it was good to know that I was not the only one. I knew that the second person who would come would be less surprised by far. In fact he might have already been there in the past, I do not know. I know more about him though than about the first guest. This one's reputation has fled out before him to let the world know that he is here. To stay even. But my love has assured me he will be most kind to me; "Because you are special to me." The young man that is already here seems to enjoy himself just as much as I do. I have seen him and my loved one spend quite some time together in the study, talking, laughing, as close as friends can be and actually sometimes even as close as lovers; it was obvious they were well attuned and knew each other thoroughly in many ways. But that was oke to me. There are many varieties in love you see and I know that I am loved, very much and very deeply. And I love him just the same... He does not forget me though. There are so many things to see in the house that the young man is often so lost in all it's splendour that he notices little else around him. At times my love just leaves him to explore for a while, as he leaves me the days to do so, and then we'd spend some time in my room, on the balcony, by the lake, in the gardens or just on the lounge by the fireplace. Oh, I just cannot explain how much my heart is still fluttering about each time he is near to me. I love him so dearly that at times it's breath-taking. But he is loved by more. I am curious towards the second visitor. I wonder whether he is as captivating as people say he is. Whether his blond hair and face are as beautiful as has been described numerous of times. My love has assured me that it is so. "But not just his looks are captivating, my dove. His whole being is. How else do you think I came to be so completely mesmerized by him?" He smiled as the memories obviously flashed through his mind and then he also added that this one is a true friend and a constant love, though their path hadn't always been as gentle all the time. But they had recently met up again and all went well. I could see it in my love's eyes; he was thrilled he was going to see him again and close his arms around him. It made me happy to see that... I hope they will all be staying until Samhain, so that I can make a special fest out of it. I have already seen some shops that offer great little things that I could use. Too bad though about the food part. I so love to make goodies for people. ~laughs~ Ah well, but there are plenty of other ways to set an atmosphere! I think I will go to the village to get some more ideas now. And then have a little rest again. Oh and after that, take one of those wonderful baths! I know it seems I talk about that alot, but you see, I don't have one at my own home. So I am making it my little splashing paradise. ~chuckles~ As soon as the second visitor has arrived, I will tell you more. Bear with me, but I can assure you; I am just as curious as you are. ~smiles~ Flourish

Exploring [29 Sep 2005|10:34am] [ mood | happy ] [ music | A classical cd ] I have walked throughout the house and made sure I know it quite well now. It's been a week since I have come here and I have had the most wonderful time; One couldn't even begin to think! The surroundings are just gorgeous too. I have walked inbetween trees in a breath-taking countryside. I have seen houses old, but alive, probably filled with ancient and old spirits. There is a bigger supermarket nearby enough, but I much prefer the smaller shops in the nearby village center. The bakery is simply sublime! As I wandered through the house during the days, finding rooms exquisitely decorated ~ah, he has such a fine taste!~ and cabinets filled with antique treasures and artifacts. And then the library! Ah, my wish must have been heard, because I have never seen so many books together outside a library or a major bookstore. And he even has ancient scrolls. Oh, I must have stared for ages drinking in the visions, while gentle brushing my fingers passed them. So beautiful... I have taken long luscious baths, lingering in the sweet and seductive scent of the essential oils, still smelling of them as I would get out and get dressed. I would smile as I would find him standing on the balcony, leaning against the french windows posts, smiling at me, taking in my vision and so very obviously happy with my presence there. I so love the feeling of his arms sliding around me and him pulling me close. His lips softly and gently on mine. One evening as I had indulged into the luxury of one of those baths again and had decided to put on a silky long black dress, I came into the room and found him by the stereo set. He turned around just as I wanted to sneak up on him and surprise him with a kiss. Not that there is much sneaking up on him possible, but he is generous enough to play along with it at times. This time he had looked through some of the cds I had brought along and just as I approached him, he pressed 'play'. Sade's 'No Ordinary Love'. It's so familiar tune lingered across the room towards me, as he took my hand and guided me to the balcony. "I have always loved this song" he said. "And I do believe it's so very fitting to us. I would give you just about anything, if not everything." He gently guided my arms up and I took over from there and wrapped them around him and he wrapped his arms around me. We stood there for a moment, drinking in each other essences, lightly swaying to the music. When the notes died out he used the remote control to switch on to another cd. A gentle nice authentic waltz sound filled the room. "May I have this dance, my dove?" I thought I could have died of happiness just there and then. The night was dark as the moon was still inbetween the stage of the last quarter and the new moon, but the stars were out and filled the sky with plenty of little dots of light. Below us the gorgeous English countryside and before me, in my arms and I in his, the most wonderful man I had ever met, or have ever known. Oh, it wasn't always romance like that. Though to me some other things that may seem far more simple, are in fact by that simpleness, romance in itself too. At some nights we just sat quietly enjoying each other's company by the fireplace. He had some work to do too of course at times and then I would just take a walk in and around the gardens or I would sit back quietly on the lounge in his study, listening to lovely classical music playing as I would watch him do his paperwork. The occasional smiles passing between us as our eyes would meet. Sometimes I would distract him a bit too much though and he'd bid me to come to him, only to pull me into his lap as soon as I'd be close enough, gently pressing a kiss on my lips. Whenever we'd say goodbye for the day he would gently press a kiss to my forehead, which I would answer back by giving him a kiss on his lips and on his eyes, telling him softly, almost in a whisper; "Rest well, my love..." Ah, he is so very considerate that at times he keeps asking whether I have spend my day well enough and whether there would be enough food and other things in the house. He had even given me his creditcard on the first night already, as he wanted to make sure that I would lack absolutely nothing. Though I feel a bit bad using it most of the time, even though it's just to buy food and other necessities. For other things I use my own money, even though he said that whatever I might spot that I would like, I'd have to buy it. But I simply can't indulge too much into buying things. He is spoiling me way too much already as it is. I had found him a gorgeous little present the other day. A precious quill, with a handcrafted silver tip; simply gorgeous. He loved it so much! But he also felt sorry that he hadn't brought me a little present first. Silly man! I mean, look at all the wonderful things he has given me so far! But sure enough it wasn't enough for him. I couldn't find him the next evening and as I went into his study I found a little note, written with the quill and the black ink standing on his desk. He had stepped out and he would be right back. And he was. With a present for me... He didn't give it to me right away though. I had no idea and I hadn't thought to ask him why he had gone out. I had just kissed him hello and he suggested we'd take a walk by the lake as the night was so gentle that time. There he gave it to me. He pulled me close and took my hand into his and as he was holding my hands with one of his, he pulled something out of his pocket with the other. Without me seeing it he folded his hand over mine and gentle slipped it into my palm and closed my fingers over it. "I hope you like it, it reminded me of you..." As I opened my hand, hardly daring to look what it was, my eyes saw this precious little jewel, an antique piece obviously, barely visible in the night. As I held my hand more towards the gentle light cast by the stars I saw that it was a brooch. The old silver was still vibrant enough to twinkle in the little light of the night. Edwardian. I could not breathe anymore, it was so gorgeous... He said it could be worn as a hair piece as well and that either way it would look lovely on me. I still stood there breathless and speechless. I just couldn't believe my eyes. It's a good thing he's not very breakable, because I would have hugged him to pieces... ~smiles vividly~ Let me show you, I made a picture of it. It's under here. ( View ) And so I have spend my days here at the manor, indulging into the splendours of it all and of him. To be honest, I need not much else than him actually (but still he keeps spoiling me!) and these days so far have undoubtedly been the happiest ones of my life. I cannot wait until it's evening again. Though now I must first try to get a little sleep. I don't want to miss a single minute of the coming night... Flourish

Arriving Home [22 Sep 2005|09:15am] [ mood | indescribable ] [ music | Only the memory of his voice in my ear ] I had never seen anything like it. Such grandeur, such beauty in one single house. So full of memories of years and years passed by; it was simply beautiful and breath-taking to me. And to add to that, the one I love was standing next to me, drinking in my every sentiment as only he can do; clearly enjoying my awe for it all. I had been tired from the traveling and had woken up in his room, with him sitting in a chair silently watching me. Oh God, his smile as he saw me waking up! I think my heart danced! I don't even remember how I got there anymore. Last thing I remembered was that he came by to pick me up at my place and that I was sitting next to him in the car, leaning against him, his arm around me, feeling as if I was in complete bliss. I must have fallen asleep, overwhelmed by all the emotions. But then, we had waited so long... I love him so dearly, his ways, his gentle ways, his old-fashioned love for all that still has a meaning in this world. He had a room prepared for me and he lead me to it, bidding me to close my eyes and not open them until he told me to. His arms were folded around me from behind, which was probably a good thing, because nothing could have prepared me for what I was about to see. I was so much overwhelmed by all the sights that I must have stared with open mouth, unable to utter a single word. The room was lovely, simply lovely; an overwhelming splash of colours by hundreds upon hundreds of flowers filling the room... Pink and cream roses, imperial lillies, bending tulips and graceful orchids, filling vases on every surface. Beyond the flowers I could see two enormous glass doors that lead onto a balcony, framing the stunning vista of English countryside that could be glimpsed below. The curtains were pulled to the side and there were two old chairs and a small table out on the balcony. The room was wallpapered in soft creams and golds, with delicate floral carpets to match and a bed with soft sheer curtains that fell from the canopy. I was to find that the door to the right lead to the dressing room, which he had filled with garments of my size and in my colour. I still need to look through these, but I am afraid he has outdone himself, judging by the first glimpses I got of them. And the bathroom, all in soft pastel and creamy colours, had been filled with all the essentials... There was a bath which had candles all around it, ready to be lit and there was even a basket filled with essential oils to create a moment of complete relaxation exactly to my liking. But there was not much time for my amazement as the sun was rising and the sky was colouring purplish and pink and I knew he had to go. Explore, he said, as he kissed me goodbye for the day. I was baffled and I think I stared after him until I couldn't even see him anymore. But explore I will... 2 Blooming|Flourish

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